Flushing my feelings down the Park

Nostalgia & Familiarity // Disgust

Walking through the park, I see a soccer tournament happening. I hear families cheering for their kids and it reminds me of the tournaments I used to play in and the park makes me feel nostalgic for those times. The playground where kids play looks similar to the playgrounds I used to play in when I was younger. However, as I watch, sitting cross-legged under a tree, the images of landfills pop into my head and I feel disgusted to be touching the same ground and makes my skin crawl thinking about the toxic gasses that seep through the soil and into the trees. 

Calming // Uncomfortableness

As I sit on a bench near the globe, I feel the breeze and hear the leaves rustle and I feel calm and at home. I hear people speaking spanish and kids laughing instead of car horns and metro trains zooming by, I feel welcomed and glad to be here. But then, I remember. And I feel uncomfortable in my own mind because I know what this park is and yet, I love it, I want to play tennis and rent a bike and lay in the grass under the sun. But again, I remember and I have to consciously tell myself, “You cannot love this place. This place is bad.” And it makes me uncomfortable how the park itself can make me forget that it is built on years and years of pure shit piling up. 

One-With-Nature // Hopelessness

When I stepped into the park and feel the shade of the trees, I think “It’s so nice to be out of the city and back in nature.” I think “The air here is so fresh.” I think “I should come here more often, it’s good for me.” I drink the water from the water fountain near the tennis courts and think “The water is so crisp here.” And then I remember, this is not natural, this is not a park. This is a landfill. I think “How did we get here? How did we allow trash to build up to that level.” Will we ever be able to find a solution or are we stuck in our ways, is this the new normal? 

Léonie Duarte

~ by ld1821 on November 2, 2019.